I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
