she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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