is your mom at the bar?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
