Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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