thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
