dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We just shotgunned beers for America
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize