Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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