Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
