just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
