the new term for farting is butt boxing.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i dont even know how to be here
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
