Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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