can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
