I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize