Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
