i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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