i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
