That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
