I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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