He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
