Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.

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(619): View more from California

He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on

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(469): View more from Texas

It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.

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(210): View more from Texas

I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.

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(315): View more from New York

max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.

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(315): View more from New York

All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night

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