69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
