I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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