hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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