They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
