so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
