$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
