saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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