Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize