I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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