you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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