Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
