i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I got inside last night via doggy door
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
