Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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