you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
