I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just pee around me
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize