Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize