I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
