exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Randomize
