My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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