Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
