you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
