I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
try to milk me bitch
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