yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
His hands were made for my vagina.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
