she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize