Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
