Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize