You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
