this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
