My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize