Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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