There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
