i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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