So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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