Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
