remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
