Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
