I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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