At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize