It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
