And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
