dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize