Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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