You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
from now on my penis is your penis
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
