fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
