I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
