Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
