I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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