Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
