I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
