Kareoke will never be a sober sport
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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